I feel that everyone has been put on this planet for a reason. Not necessarily in a religious sense, more like a path, a purpose.
We all fight our own battles, big and small. I’m here to explain from my point of view, that even models, who are seen as ‘perfection’ and what you ‘should’ look like in this society, are also just people, who have fought an extremely hard battle to get where they are today.
Me, myself, I am just a girl. A girl with big dreams.
From when I was very young I would dress up in pink dresses, little pink princess heels and I’d run around everywhere performing for family, friends and even strangers.
I loved the response I got from doing something that I loved at the same time, I still do.
But nothing is easy. Absolutely nothing. If it was easy to achieve, it probably wasn’t that great of an achievement, if you don’t mind me saying so.
I have a primary disease in my legs called lymphedema. Very few people know what it is. I wear a pressure stocking every day and night because of it, on my left leg. It is a condition of localized fluid retention and tissue swelling caused by a compromised lymphatic system. The dangerous part is that the body parts with lymphedema are at high risk of infection. Every day I wake up and I’m in pain, moving hurts, when I stand still or lie down it hurts. Overall, it’s just awful. It’s quite difficult for me to talk openly about this but what I want most of all is to spread awareness for others. Don’t ever think your disability, disease or anything really that you’re insecure about is the reason you can’t do something.
If you want it badly enough, you can achieve anything you want!
Never be afraid of showing yourself and your talents to the people, to the world, because you’re too scared of getting rejected. Every person, especially models, know how it feels to be rejected, to not be good enough. To be an international supermodel, you have to be a certain size. I have never been the ‘skinny’ friend, I wasn’t fat either though.
But for the modelling world, I certainly was. This right here is one of my battles. Before I was scouted by A&P Model Management here in Holland, I had never really thought about modelling in a serious sense. My passion has always been singing. But WOW when I was scouted, I felt amazing! It was a feeling of acceptance. At that point I started to feel a little bit more confident. I told Patricia, from the agency, about my disability and she was incredibly sweet about it. That was an amazing point for me. I have done a few small jobs in the Netherlands via A&P. Mostly for students, who are studying photography.
A few months back, before the Paul Fisher event hosted by A&P in Lisse, I went to hospital for two weeks. I slept there, I ate there and most of all I rehabilitated there. The hospital taught me how to take care of myself, how to exercise daily, how to move and lots more to do with my disability. This stay was obviously something that I didn’t want to do; I did not want to stay in a huge big hospital on the other side of Holland, hours away from my family and friends. But when I think back about it now, it was an incredible opportunity. It made me very confident in myself, that I can deal with this and that I can most definitely survive it!
I had heard a few weeks before I went to hospital that A&P was hosting an event, Paul Fisher would be there!!! And many more important international scouts and agencies.
I started going to the gym, walking 5km a day and of course eating even healthier! I lost more than 11 kilos. But after a few months it became clear that this was not enough, I could not just eat healthier and train a bit more, like most people. My lymphedema was and still does sometimes, stand in my way. I had to be a certain size around the biggest part of my legs and bottom. But with me, unlike most models, I have lymph there! It was no longer fat it was the slight swelling of my legs. So for me to be able to achieve that goal I have to train intensively every day to pump the lymph flued around better, eat even less and stay incredibly strong. With my lymphedema comes chronic pain all day long. Just imagine having to train that often, on a minimal amount of food, in incredible pain. But hey! Like so many others, I won’t let this stop me from achieving my goal. All of you reading this, thanks if you’ve read this far. I hope I’ve managed to help one or more of you out there to never let anything or anyone stand between you and your goals. I know you have insecurities, yes you! No matter how talented, no matter how beautiful and no matter how smart. We all have our own insecurities and that’s OK! It’s perfectly normal in fact. Just don’t EVER let it be a problem, don’t ever let it be the reason you don’t do something you want to do.
Stay loving!! Stay fighting for what you believe in and for what you want in life.
Lots of love,
~ Ella Angel (16 years old)